I'm not a minimalist (but I live with one)



One of my husband's favorite ways to tease me is by saying, "You're totally a minimalist!"

This usually happens when I put something in the donate box we keep in our closet, or when I clean out my craft closet, or when I decide against buying something because I don't need it.

Here's the thing, though... I'm not a minimalist.

When I think of minimalism, I think of extreme minimalism (for example, owning only 15 items like Andrew Hyde) and people who live in tiny houses and no-spend living and, to be honest, literally none of that appeals to me. I mean, I have 15 items within my reach right now. Our ~1,400 square foot house is just perfect for me. And, if I'm being honest, I can't imagine not spending money (it's a scientific fact that I can't live without Bath and Body Works scented candles). So, no, I certainly don't consider myself to be a minimalist.

However, I would be lying if I said that I haven't seen the benefits of simple living (and, sure, "minimalism").

When my husband was first beginning his journey into minimalism (which he dove into head-first!), he began to question all of our belongings. Now, please understand that we were married in college and therefore had no household supplies or furniture to our names. Our families and friends were so generous and gave us everything we could possibly need and more: pots and pans, cutlery, dishes, curtains, couches, baskets and totes, and more Christmas decorations than we could possibly ever use. In fact, our first apartment had an entire closet stuffed from floor to ceiling with boxes and totes. Our second place had a closet that spanned the whole width of the living room, and it was stuffed, too! For the first few years of our marriage, it was really nice to know that we never really needed to go out and buy anything, because we probably had it in storage.

Eventually, we had a few yard sales and moving sales to try and downsize the amount of stuff we had. Unfortunately, we also loved shopping at yard sales (EVERYTHING IS SO DANG CHEAP), so we probably ended up with more than we got rid of each year.

When we purchased our house, we were overwhelmed with projects and decided to just stash all of our extra things in the garage, closets, and cabinets until we could "get organized." We had plenty of storage space, so we didn't even really need to get rid of anything. We lived with the stuff for about a year before Thomas discovered The Minimalists and decided to downsize his stuff for his mental health.

So, as I mentioned, after totally destroying the contents of his closet, he began questioning all of our items, beginning in the kitchen. He cleaned out the utensils drawer and our cookware cabinet, getting rid of duplicates and anything that was broken or hadn't been used in the past few months. Then, he went through his coffee mugs and got rid of most of them. He went through our plastic storage containers and took out everything that didn't have both a bowl and a lid. I was totally okay with it, because (let's be real) it meant less dishes to wash!

But then, he asked me to do the same. He asked me to go through my beloved coffee mug collection and get rid of any mugs I hadn't used recently. In his mind, they were just clutter that needed to be gotten rid of. I, however, loved each and every one of those mugs! I loved remembering when and where I got them, I liked having a variety of mugs to photograph for Instagram, and I loved letting guests pick out which mug they wanted to use for coffee. And, guys, I flipped. my. shit. I got right in his face and told him that I wasn't having anything to do with his stupid minimalism, and that he could throw out my mugs over my dead body. That was a bad day. (psst - Thomas wrote a blog post about this situation from his perspective, too!)

It's probably been about 18 months since that day and, guess what! I still have all of my coffee mugs! I also have a much better understanding of what "minimalism" is and isn't (although I still envision those most extreme things I mentioned above).

So, here's what minimalism isn't (which, by the way, used to be my list of what minimalism is)-
- getting rid of everything you own
- living in an empty house
- never shopping
- never getting new things
- owning a strict, set number of items

And here's my short list of what simple living/minimalism is-
- being intentional about what you bring into your home
- keeping all the things that you love and get use out of, and getting rid of most everything else
- spending your time doing things instead of cleaning and organizing
- having a relaxing home that you love to be in
- having less items that are higher quality

Do you agree with my assessment of minimalism? Or, do you have other thoughts or experiences to add? I'd love to hear about them!

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